The trees gently swaying, just waking up from their slumber; the birds chirping, singing their own magical tune; the crickets shutting up, after a work nicely done; the beautiful smiling face, at starbucks that gave me my coffee... everything was just perfect. I decided to sit on one of those cold granite benches to watch the sun come up. Sipping my warm mocha, I watched the sun brighten up the world around me...
How I wish, the next sentence were filled with all those adjectives to describe, how great it felt, how amazing it was; how soothing it was. But unfortunately... it isn't. I never believed when someone said that, 'the most beautiful things can trigger the worst of memories'. I guess I should have listened to them.
I sat there staring into the sky; scenes of my life flashing by; words I never wanted to hear, ringing in my ears. It felt utterly painful; it felt as if I lost something; as if I myself was lost; as if I didn't know me. I suddenly felt so lonely and scared. I felt weak and sorry. I was angry and helpless.
Not able to comprehend the sudden change of events, I strode back to my car, throwing my coffee away on the way. I switched on the music 'I walk this empty street, On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams ...' I immediately slammed it OFF. And now, as you must have guessed, I was really pissed off at everything, I mean everything; at myself, my life - what I did with it, what I was doing with it, what others did with it.
I quietly drove back home and sat in my couch for a long time ... thinking about all those 'if's in my life. I desperately need to change my mood, how about I write all this up in a blog? may be it will cheer me up!
It didn't.
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6 comments:
rahul why cnt u write about the nice and wornderful exp u had with cast and crew of indian....
got it i am eagar to read it
I could see you through the article... and it feels bad when I think that I could never in my life be with you at the time you'd needed an elder brother the most... or was I?
Cheer up, bro! After all this, you still have a life... and one that's younger than mine! That's the first positive note that you can hear right there!
Peace!
Hey Nikhil. Thanks for your comments. Those few days in NJ were great days. I will write about them in a more cheerful mood.
Sashanka
Kudos for getting it off your chest! It's not necessarily bad to reminisce on the negative experiences of life. The lesson to learn from them is that not everything is in our control, no matter how much we try.
Alright, I'll stop my hitha bodhana.
Not sure why u felt all that but this does not suit you dear!!! be joyful as you always would be....
Its been almost an year you wrote a blog .....we were all waiting for some thing more lively, joyful and hilarious as they used to be...
and to share every thing else we will always be there for u .....
Waiting for more blogs....
Kranthi
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