Monday, November 12, 2007
Nothing to Lose - II
I'd be lying if I said, everything is awesome and I am doing great. After the heartfelt concern you guys showed me and not to mention the warnings you gave me, not to post any such blogs in the future ... I give up. That would be the last blog you'll ever read that would speak my bad mood. So this 'Nothing to Lose - II' will stay incomplete.
But guys i have to say this. Though at times, I feel lonely, days like these remind me that I am blessed and privileged to have all you guys in my life.
-Sashanka
But guys i have to say this. Though at times, I feel lonely, days like these remind me that I am blessed and privileged to have all you guys in my life.
-Sashanka
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Nothing to lose - I
The trees gently swaying, just waking up from their slumber; the birds chirping, singing their own magical tune; the crickets shutting up, after a work nicely done; the beautiful smiling face, at starbucks that gave me my coffee... everything was just perfect. I decided to sit on one of those cold granite benches to watch the sun come up. Sipping my warm mocha, I watched the sun brighten up the world around me...
How I wish, the next sentence were filled with all those adjectives to describe, how great it felt, how amazing it was; how soothing it was. But unfortunately... it isn't. I never believed when someone said that, 'the most beautiful things can trigger the worst of memories'. I guess I should have listened to them.
I sat there staring into the sky; scenes of my life flashing by; words I never wanted to hear, ringing in my ears. It felt utterly painful; it felt as if I lost something; as if I myself was lost; as if I didn't know me. I suddenly felt so lonely and scared. I felt weak and sorry. I was angry and helpless.
Not able to comprehend the sudden change of events, I strode back to my car, throwing my coffee away on the way. I switched on the music 'I walk this empty street, On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams ...' I immediately slammed it OFF. And now, as you must have guessed, I was really pissed off at everything, I mean everything; at myself, my life - what I did with it, what I was doing with it, what others did with it.
I quietly drove back home and sat in my couch for a long time ... thinking about all those 'if's in my life. I desperately need to change my mood, how about I write all this up in a blog? may be it will cheer me up!
It didn't.
How I wish, the next sentence were filled with all those adjectives to describe, how great it felt, how amazing it was; how soothing it was. But unfortunately... it isn't. I never believed when someone said that, 'the most beautiful things can trigger the worst of memories'. I guess I should have listened to them.
I sat there staring into the sky; scenes of my life flashing by; words I never wanted to hear, ringing in my ears. It felt utterly painful; it felt as if I lost something; as if I myself was lost; as if I didn't know me. I suddenly felt so lonely and scared. I felt weak and sorry. I was angry and helpless.
Not able to comprehend the sudden change of events, I strode back to my car, throwing my coffee away on the way. I switched on the music 'I walk this empty street, On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams ...' I immediately slammed it OFF. And now, as you must have guessed, I was really pissed off at everything, I mean everything; at myself, my life - what I did with it, what I was doing with it, what others did with it.
I quietly drove back home and sat in my couch for a long time ... thinking about all those 'if's in my life. I desperately need to change my mood, how about I write all this up in a blog? may be it will cheer me up!
It didn't.
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